Also i'm trying to see what i write when my sleep-meds have already kicked in so this will be brief and possibly weird.
Blacky peed into my bed thrice. The weirdest part is that i was watching him twice and he was watching me. I didn't know cats would pee while sitting and pee themselves doing it. Also im not 100% sure if he just thought my bed would be a nice place to pee in, or if he was trying to tell me something. Well i won't allow him on my bed for a while and close the bedroom door if i have to go out.
Had a dental emergency last week, that was fun. If you're into pain that is, which i'm not. I could get used to the pain-meds of the dentist though. Also extreme pain counteracts my sleep-meds completely. Also not fun.
Then Desertbus happened and now i'm missing the people talking to me through the Internet again.
Oh and i'm broke, actually completely broke. Had to replace parts of my PC which is expensive.
Ok sleep-meds make my thoughts extremely dull and slow.
I'm scared shitless of a few things but as i can't do anything about that i'm just going to ignore them and take something against the headaches i'll get from that. I'm still doing something wrong. All direct human contact i have makes me wanna be alone more. The only positive outcome of human contact lies so far beyond what i'm able to do that i just don't see how i can get there. There probably are a few things in between i just don't remember them. I do know how much i enjoyed the rare evenings i spent at a friends 'private' party but i honestly have no idea how to get there from 'i don't know anybody i have anything in common with nearby' and 'all the people i do know and like live to far away and i haven't dealt with them in such a long time that trying to get them to invite me is just madness'.Well actually starting any human contact on my own is madness. And the only human contact i'm offered is the one i don't want. I don't understand humans, but then again they rarely understand me.
Maybe i have more luck with cats.
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